The theme isĀ marriage.

Who ever dreamed we’d have three states legalize same-sex marriage all at once and our very first defeat of a DOMA law in a fourth. It’s monumentous day for queer rights. So, blog about it. What does marriage mean to you? To your kids? Do you live in a state that doesn’t have it? Do you live in a state that does? If your state just approved it, what was it like to go through having your civil rights voted on? Is marriage even the right place for queers to be focusing their energy?

Blog away and comment with your link by Friday the 16th.

The theme is secrets, but not the painful bad kind. What is your deep dark parenting secret, the one you don’t really mention in public. Do you give your three year old a bottle? Do you bribe your kid to cooperate? Do you breast feed your preschooler? Is ice cream a regular on your breakfast menu? Spill your secrets to the world, I bet you’re not actually alone.

pajamamommas: Disappointment
In Loco Parentis: The Opposite of Disappointment
Two Lasses and a Baby: Disappointment
Life with Cheeks: Disappointment Makes Way for Joy
Possible Maybe: Tangled in Disappointment password: lazydog
The Brit Nanny and Me: Disappointment
Opening the Door: On Disappointment
Living Intensely: This is Not the Baby I Ordered
That’s a Lot of Esses: Disappointment
Little Monster and Mommies: The Big D…Disappointment
Family Squared: Disappointment
Two Chicks and a Sweet Pea: Disappointments
Coastal Waves: Disappointment
Love Invents Us: Disappointment
Chunk and Mommy: Disappointment: Blog Carnival
Path 2 Parenthood: disappointment
Cookin’ Up a Baby: Taking a Ride on the Carnival
The Real Gay Agenda: Disappointment

The theme is disappointment. The experience of TTC is rife with disappointment, heartbreak: BFNs, fertility issues, money issues. Then pregnancy brings challenges and disappointments: not liking being pregnant,the role of the non-bio mother in birthing classes. Parenting at times feels like a continual exercise in disappointment. Adding a sibling into the mix brings challenges and disappointments, or not being able to add a sibling when you want to. As queer parents we are sometimes disappointed with people who seem not to be able to respect our families, sometimes strangers and sometimes friends. Then there’s the big disappointment of society and how we fit into it. So write away: how has disappointment affected you? How have you overcome it? How does it shape you? We all have our visions and dreams of how things will go, from trying to get pregnant to what it will be like to parent. Then we come up against reality and it’s almost always not what we expected.

Thanks to everyone who participated in our second topic: Donor Sperm! How does having a third party, a donor, shape our families, or the process of creating a family? Read on:

Little Monster and Mommies: It’s DONOR not daddy, thankyouverymuch
Small Obsessions: Blog Carnival!
Romancing the Story: LMAF2: Donor Sperm
An Offering of Love: Donor Conceived
Mothering Makena: LMAF2: Donor Sperm
Love Invents Us: Donor Sperm
That’s a lot of Esses: Donor Sperm
Journey Toward Our Baby: To Know or Not to Know
In Loco Parentis: LMaF2: Donor Sperm
Family Squared: Brad
Path to Parenthood: The Donor Post
Love Plus Love Equals Marriage: Donor Talk
The Real Gay Agenda: Blog Carnival: Donor Sperm
First Time Second Time: Donor Sibling Registry, yay…or nay…or…
Bionic Mamas: Blog Carnival: Donor Sperm
Next in Line: Not All Dads are Roosters
Living Intensely: If Your Offer Your Sperm to a Lesbian…
Cookin’ Up a Baby: Username Challenged
Chunk and Mommy: To Sell or Not to Sell

The theme will be donor sperm.

There have been a lot of articles about donor sperm in the media lately, mostly centering around straight couples who use a donor to conceive, some about the large numbers of donor siblings that come out of sperm banks that use the same donors sperm over and over. Are there ethical issues? Does the industry need more regulation, and if regulation happens how does that affect the queer TTC community? How does it feel to have to use a donor in order to concieve a baby? Have you used a known donor and why did you make that decision? Donor ID release? Completely unknown? Do you contact the donor sibs or leave it be? How does it feel to be part of a large donor sib “family”? How do you talk to your kids about their donor? What are your fears and your joys around using a donor?

Blog away, add you link by Monday the 26th, grab a link to add to the end of your post and the carnival will make another round!!!

Thanks to everyone who participated in the very first Love Makes a Family Blog Carnival. The theme was relationships and the strain parenting puts on them. Here are the fabulous contributions:

Living Intensely: Destroyed by Baby
Chunk and Mommy: And Baby Made Three…then Two…
The Family Squared: Pitfalls in Parenting
Love Invents Us: Queer Parenting and TTC Blog Carnival
Reproducing Genius: Finding Our Way
The Real Gay Agenda: A Little Seriousness
Mothering Makena: The One Where I Spill the Beans password: mocha
Path to Parenthood: Parenthood and Relationships